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Like other forms of community living, cohousing offers many opportunities, such as friendship, a sense of purpose, security, emotional support, and a sense of belonging. However, as I and others have experienced, joining a cohousing community can be a long and difficult process.
Your first challenge may be finding a cohousing community in an area where you want to live. While the number of cohousing projects in North America is growing steadily, most real estate agents have either never heard of cohousing or are unclear what it is. And desirable cohousing communities often have low turnover or fill vacancies without advertising them. Fortunately the cohousing movement, and wider communities movement, can help here. Check out the website of the Cohousing Association of the U.S. (www.cohousing.org/cohousing-community-directory.aspx) which lists existing and forming cohousing communities by geographic area. Not all cohousing groups are listed on the Coho/US website, so also ask friends and cohousers and put a request on the Cohousing–L listserv for leads: lists.cohousing.org/mailman/listinfo/cohousing-l. Communities with units for sale or rent and forming cohousing projects often advertise in Communities magazine, or on the Fellowship for Intentional Community’s Reachbook postboard (www.ic.org), or in the e-newsletter of Coho/US (available on their website).
Before joining a community, you should know what you are getting into. Is the community already built? If not, how close is it to completion? What development model will the project follow? How will you fit in with the group? Can you afford it? What amenities does it offer and what is the social environment? How does the group make decisions?
To judge how close a project is to completion, you need to understand the usual stages in developing cohousing. The Coho/US website classifies communities as:
Joining a cohousing group in its early stages is very different from joining a community that has been in residence for 10 years. If you think you would enjoy the thrill of creation, finding a bargain, or influencing some aspect of the physical design or community life, you might want to join a group in the early stages or start your own. The earlier you join a group, however, the more the risk and uncertainty you will face. Some groups go through the initial stages several times—finding property, losing property, finding new property, and gaining and losing many members before succeeding. On the bright side, rewards for committing early may include receiving discounts on your purchase price and priority in selecting your housing unit.
Cohousing projects can be classified various ways. For instance, some are created by new construction on vacant land; others result from retrofitting existing buildings.
There are also many different site plans for cohousing communities. In the townhouse plan, two or more rows of townhouses face each other across a common green; however, many variations of this are possible. Retrofit projects can work with apartment buildings, townhouses, or single-family homes. There are also lot development projects in which individual custom homes are built on separate lots.
If the cohousing project is not already built, the development model will affect your experience as well, since it determines your role as a group member prior to move-in. In the do-it-ourselves or “Danish model,” the group serves as its own developer and develops the property entirely by itself. In this model, the members provide the inspiration, design criteria, and marketing effort and take all the financial risk. (In plain language: you might lose lots of money.) Also, in this model, the housing units could all be built at once, or in stages as finances permit: 10 housing units now and 20 later.
In the “streamlined” or “developer-partner” model, the group partners with an experienced developer who provides experience, credibility with lenders and planning officials, and working relationships with trusted architects and contractors. In this model, the group still provides the inspiration, design criteria, and marketing effort, but the developer assumes much of the financial risk. (Which means you could still lose money, but it’s much less likely.)
In the “developer-driven” model, a developer conceives of and develops the property first and then seeks residents to buy in. This means there is little to no financial risk for people buying in, but some cohousing experts will say there is less “community spirit” as well, at least at first. Then there is what one might call the hybrid developer-driven model, in which case a member of the group serves as the developer. Again, the financial risk for group members is low.
These different site plans and development models affect whether or not you can customize your home or housing unit. A developer will most likely curtail customization to keep the individual unit prices lower for everyone. If you want to build something unusual (such as a dome house, a straw bale house, or an off-grid home) you may need to join a group in which this is norm or else join a lot-development project.
The kind of site plan and development model also affects the project timeline. In general, the more group input, the longer the project will take, so the do-it-ourselves Danish model takes the longest and the developer-driven model is the quickest. These characteristics can also affect how soon you get a common house. While cohousing experts suggest building it at the same time as individual housing units, if a project will be completed in multiple phases, chances are the majority of the homes will be occupied before the common house is built. In a retrofit or lot development model, the lag between the time the first person moves in and the common house is built may stretch into many years. With a strong developer, however, this is less of a concern. If a common house is important to you, keep this in mind.
The easiest cohousing communities to find are the ones that are also looking for you. Active cohousing groups in the early stages and projects in which construction has started tend to be eager to recruit members. The former recruit to raise capital for the site-search and site-purchase processes; the latter, to fill vacant units to pay construction costs. Such groups often advertise publicly for new residents. Joining a cohousing community that is already up and running can be more challenging because they just want to live their lives. They have less motivation to publicize themselves. There may be no one to volunteer to handle inquiries and give curious visitors a tour. However, whether you look to rent or own in a cohousing community, stay in close contact with those that interest you, even if they have no units available right now. Vacancies in established communities may be advertised, but often they fill quickly through word of mouth. Also, many existing cohousing communities have many people on their waiting list. Getting onto a waiting list gives you the inside track when turnover occurs.
As when joining any intentional community, you are not just buying a place to live, but entering a whole community culture. These are people with whom you and your family are going to party, garden, sing, play, and share meals. Talk to the individual members. Do their views on diet, politics, religion, child rearing, and environmental issues resonate with you? Do some share your major interests? Do some rub you the wrong way? Not everyone will be your best friend, but you will interact and share decisions with these people, so you should know them well before committing yourself.
Learn as much as possible about how the group works. Attend social events where newcomers are welcome: potlucks, parties, retreats, site visits, and so on. Ask lots of questions. If possible, observe a business meeting and watch how the group makes decisions and resolves conflicts. Are meetings well organized and pleasant? How long are the meetings? How frequent?
Look at the age-mix. Are there families, singles, and retirees? Will your children find compatible playmates? Cohousing projects targeting young families are likely to emphasize play areas and provide childcare during business meetings. Those targeting retirees are more likely to stress accessibility in their design.
In an already existing cohousing community, pay special attention to the common facilities. How are they maintained? Is the dining room noisy during meals? Is the common house vacant on weekends and evenings? Is it quiet at night? Is it abandoned during the day when people are working? How often do spontaneous activities happen in the community?
When my wife and I got seriously interested in cohousing, we visited a dozen groups and stayed overnight in several communities. If a community has guest rooms, you may be able to stay in them. You may even be able to rent a unit or a room for a few days, weeks, or months and see how you like it. The longer you stay, the more realistic your impressions of that community will be.
Some groups have multiple levels of membership: full members of the group, who commit time in meetings and monthly dues or periodic financial contributions, and associate members, people who may be considering the group who stay connected by email but have neither commitment. At one point, my wife and I were associate members of three different groups. However, if you decide to participate fully in design or decision-making, expect to make a larger commitment in terms of time and money.
Look for a mentor, a member who takes an interest in you and can answer questions. Ideally this is someone who seems to know what is going on, speaks up at meetings, has been around a long time, and with whom you feel comfortable talking or exchanging emails.
Before joining, get clear on the financial commitment—how much will it cost to buy the sort of housing unit you’re interested in? Is this just an estimate, and if so, when will the price be “fixed”—guaranteed? Do you pre-qualify for a mortgage? When do you need to pay the down payment? Are there monthly or annual dues, and if so, what is their purpose?
For most homeowners, their residence is the largest investment they ever make. If you know you want to buy rather than rent, get pre-qualified for a home loan when you join the cohousing group, even if move-in is years away. Knowing what a bank will lend you can help you decide whether to stick with the group through a major price increase or bail out.
Joining an incomplete construction project is riskier than buying a completed home, since you are unsure whether the project will succeed. Joining a project that has not yet optioned land is riskier still. Joining a cohousing project is like lending money to a family member—don’t invest funds that you can’t afford to lose! Later on, once the project is fully certified for occupancy, the financial risks of cohousing resemble those of conventional housing.
Financial commitments tend to increase as a group matures. “Cash calls,” delays, and price increases are normal aspects of the new housing development process. Learn as much as you can about how your cohousing project will be financed. Ask about worst-case scenarios, but don’t dwell overmuch on them.
If you are not ready to buy, try renting a unit in a completed community. Since many people interested in cohousing are in this situation, competition for long-term rentals can be even stiffer than for salable units. Networking through personal contacts is probably your best chance of finding a cohousing rental.
When comparing communities, consider the location and the amenities provided (or promised), just as you would when shopping for a conventional home. Check out the neighborhood. Is it noisy? Do you feel safe? Are there good schools in the area? How far is it to the grocery store? Make sure your criteria are realistic. For instance, many Americans dream of living in a rural setting, but balk at driving long distances to shopping, school, and jobs.
Cohousing in cities and suburbs tends to be dense—many units in a small area. Check out how the land is (or will be) used. Are you comfortable with the amount of open space? Are you willing to share common walls with your neighbors, or do you prefer a detached residence? Do you need an enclosed yard for pets or children? Do you need a garage or carport, and if so must it be near your unit?
Be warned, planned amenities may fail to materialize! The swimming pool or common workshop you desire may be cut to keep prices affordable. Do you need a particularly large or inexpensive unit? In the early stages of design and construction the size of the common house or the individual units, the number of units and therefore the ultimate size of the community may be uncertain because of the changing cost of home financing or construction costs. You may not know final home prices or homeowner dues until construction starts, and in some cases, not until the very end of construction.
For some questions, you may be told, “the group will decide.” If you care strongly about, say, having a garden, you can join the community and push for a garden, but you can’t be sure of success. Other members may see the issue differently, or your wish may prove impractical, due to financial constraints, local ordinances, safety/liability concerns, neighbor objections, or other reasons.
Your criteria may change once you are involved. Keep in mind why you want to live in community; it may be worth giving up some material conveniences to enjoy the intangible benefits of community life.
Intentional communities create their own policies and decision-making processes. Each community develops its own unique flavor, though decision-making by consensus rather than voting is most common. If you don’t understand how decisions get made, ask an active member to explain. If the group uses consensus, ideally you will be able to take a group-sponsored workshop in how to use this decision-making process.
Find out what policies the group already has in place regarding participation, meals, use and modification of common areas, children, visitors, pets, and conflict resolution, so you won’t be surprised later. Policies can evolve dramatically between formation and move-in, and communities continue making adjustments afterward. Don’t assume policies and decision-making procedures will always remain fixed or work out as you or others originally envisioned. Get involved and do your part to help steer the community!
Before campaigning for a new feature or policy, note that groups put enormous effort into making decisions. As a result, changing already established decisions is difficult, especially if you are perceived as a latecomer. Wise groups avoid making major concessions to any one household.
My final advice is to learn as much as you can about cohousing, consensus, and the communities movement. Read books and magazines and visit websites. Contact community members by email and phone. Visit communities in your area and near the places you travel. Educating yourself about group living will clarify your desires and make you more valuable as a community member wherever you live.